all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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