so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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