You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You left your phone here
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