Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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