I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
