is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He passed out mid-signature
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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