Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
