SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
