But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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