Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
