I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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