Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize