well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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