the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
