HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize