You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
