Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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