Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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