I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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