Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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