There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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