it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
