And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
