Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize