Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Houston, we have a squirter
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
