I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I did not marry a roomba.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
