oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I DEMAND FORESKIN
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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