never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
