Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
