my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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