I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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