"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
