craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize