Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
