the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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