I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I wish I only lived at night.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
