So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
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Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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