i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
