16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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