I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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