I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't turn off my feet"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My butt remains clenched, sir.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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