Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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