Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
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I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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