I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
