she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
