Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
