I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
