C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
