maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
