my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize