Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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