I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize