Cold hands, warm shart.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
