my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it