Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
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Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?