I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
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I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober