the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.