Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

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(661): View more from California

I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

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(315): View more from New York

when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'

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(415): View more from California

i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?

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(518): View more from New York

You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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(563): View more from Iowa

Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!

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(607): View more from New York

Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

(1-607): View more from New York

I think so and I think we were sober.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel

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