I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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