Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
