i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
