I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
