I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
