terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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