im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
