But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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