dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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