I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
