CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i drank out of a bidet.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
