i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
