D3 body, D1 cock
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
