it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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