What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
