Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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